I went through the whole of my first year feeling unsatisfied, constantly trying to please tutors and failing, all the while letting my own happiness be sacrificed.  I started the second year filled with more optimism after getting to grips with my time management and work load, but then the work I was given wasn’t right for what I wanted to be doing.  Project after project I felt I was trying to be another person in my work, nothing came naturally anymore, and the briefs that were set weren’t with the clients I had had in mind.  I am a story teller, a character creator, and here I was trying to be a graphic designer, event promoter, typographer…
Once I realised this, I knew I needed to take some sort of action.  With great encouragement from my loved ones I searched around for some advice.
I contacted a Senior Concept Artist, asking how he got his career and what could I do to get there one day, despite my soon-to-be shortcomings in qualifications.  The reply I received was much more than a wishing of good luck, it was real aid.  Not only did he ask to see work I had done already but he also set me work to do.  Soon I was following the Conceptual Artist course he runs.  Then there was a downside to this optimism.

Still being on the Illustration course, starting the second semester, I didn’t have the time I wanted to be doing this work on the side.  I was letting myself down.  What point was there sacrificing my ambitions and dreams for the sake of a few good marks in work that I didn’t even enjoy?  I would end my degree, feebly, with a portfolio demonstrating what I’m only decent at, which would then possiblyjustmaybe get me work in areas of design I would resent and feel like a complete fraud.  That was that.

I spoke to a tutor about my first semester (where three of my projects in a row were marked 3rds) and confessed I wasn’t happy, haven’t been for a long time, and I’m heading in the wrong direction.  Contrary to my fear of being told I’m a failure or have to stick it out anyway, I was advised to speak to another member of staff about my possibilities.  After much discussion and bureaucracy change may be about to occur.

I am currently sat in the Graphics and Illustration studio hoping this will be the last time I need to be here.  I am waiting to meet with my possible future tutor, to see how soon I can join the first year of The Art Of Games Design course.  On it I will continue Life Drawing classes, learn 3D programming and design, and, most exciting of all, conceptual art work for games; characters, environments, weapons, vehicles…  Even better, this design work does not confine me solely to games but can be used for animation, film, and TV.  Finally I will be given the specific learning requirements I want yet the broad stroke to approach projects for different media.

Despite how much I resented the Illustration course there is still a lot I have taken with me.  My work ethic, time management, awareness of presentation, use of design programs, and of course html coding and my very own bit of cyberspace.

I am feeling much happier and hopeful, which I haven’t done for a very long time.

J. x

]]> http://jessicaonpaper.wordpress.com/2010/02/01/exciting-times/feed/ 2 jessicaonpaper Eli http://jessicaonpaper.wordpress.com/2010/01/29/shadowline/ http://jessicaonpaper.wordpress.com/2010/01/29/shadowline/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:32:41 +0000 jessicaonpaper http://jessicaonpaper.wordpress.com/?p=45 ]]> I recently purchased ‘Shadowline: The Art of Iain McCaig’, and I can tell you now, it is beautiful.  Stunning.  GORGEOUS!

Every page is filled with his art.  Work from Star Wars to Harry Potter, storyboards to illustrations.
Not only that, it has mini-drawing classes inserted in booklet form inside.
It is a book that is both fiction and a presentation of– baaaah!
Let him show and tell you himself!

I’m not a particularly big Star Wars fan nor am I much of a fan of the Harry Potter films, but you don’t need to be to admire these works of art.
If you’d like to purchase it you can go to Amazon here!
You will not be disappointed!

J. x

Now is a much different story, and I’m glad of it. I had forgotten just how much enjoyment I got out of jumping off ledges and head shots. Upon starting my Illustration BA Hons I had a very open/uncertain mind over what exactly I wanted out of my drawings. After several projects requiring me to decide what art inspires and influences me, I realised just how much video games and their concept art affect me. I also began to play and utterly adore Sony’s Playstation 3 and its games’ visual capabilities. Soon after this I subscribed to a magazine, Games TM, which is a wonderfully rounded publication, reviewing all gaming platforms, throwing in retro titles and interviews to boot. Now, thanks to all of this, I have growing excitement of upcoming releases.

What appeals to me in a game is, firstly, its look – have the studio clearly taken time and effort to make it a game worthy of purchase. Does it display passion and dedication? If it looks like they didn’t enjoy making it look good, I may not enjoy playing it.

Secondly, the story/concept. All too often a story comes into play as a weak structure to base around the antagonist for the sake of having a release. Anyone can create a force of good versus one of evil, with many a shiny item to collect from level to level, along the way to achieve the destruction of said evil. If I can’t fall into it, believe it, then it’s not being bought. I’ve also found quality voice acting can really make amends for a thin plot line.

Thirdly, the game play. Depending on the state of mind I’m in, I can be easily put off or fall for a game by its use of controls, fluidity of character movement, and how the pacing is set by each. I’ve started playing something that has complex controls, but as soon as I’ve got the hang of them the game really moves along and my focus is taken to what I’m doing rather that on how I’m doing it.
I’ve also played games where the controls are so simple that I feel like I’m not actually in control or really accomplishing anything myself, but merely guiding the game along whilst I watch it play out before me.

So, let’s cut the background talk and the looking as if I really know gaming… What am I excited for in 2010?

(click on the image to go to the game’s trailer – this will take you away from the page(!))

Heavy Rain (PS3)

Red Dead Redemption (PS3, XBox 360)

BioShock 2 (XBox 360, PC, PS3)

Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days (PS3, XBox 360,PC

Mafia II (PS3, XBox 360, PC)

God of War III (PS3)

Medal of Honour (PS3, PC, XBox 360)

Dante’s Inferno (PS3, XBox 360, PSP)

Battlefield: Bad Company 2 (PS3, XBox 360, PC)

I’m currently building my own web site, promoting/showcasing my art work (if you can call it that), and I thought, “why not chuck a blog in the mix too?”, and so here I am.

This is actually my second blog, and I plan to keep it! That is just as long as I don’t get strange foreign men asking me to be their friend for life and lovin’ before I’ve even put up any information or a photo… So far, so good!

I’d like to focus on all art that interests me – graphic novels, classic art, book illustration, fashion, novels, animation, films, video games, concept work, and music. I’m sure I can bend a few other topics to suit my needs as well!
I think it’s important to share what you love and what inspires you, it’s so infectious, and I truly believe inspiration is pure positivity. Plus I could do with letting go of my possessive nature. You may have come across the feeling. You discover something, you don’t think anyone else knows about it, and it suddenly feels like it’s yours and only for you, only you could possibly appreciate it… Or maybe that’s just me!

Here I am, ready to let go and share all I hold dear.
I hope it’s worth it.

J. x